I focus on other people’s problems to avoid my own.

I'm curious as how you focus on other people's problems.  Do you point the finger and accuse them pushing guilt and shame on them?  Or do you work at being the support, the peace maker, the problem solver?  Depending on how you approach others issues, may change how you need to approach your own.  If you are pushing guilt and shame on others, I guarantee it's because you have your own pile of guilt and shame (Luke 6:41-42).  Guilt is the result of not resolving an issue, not giving or receiving forgiveness.  This can be solved by going to those involved and talking it through (Matthew 18:15-20).  Shame is a lie that Satan is going to do his best to use to hold you down.  Once you have removed the guilt the shame should go away as well.  If it doesn't, there are more layers to the problem you need to address.  You should connect with a counselor or pastor and allow them to help you process through these layers and lead you towards a healthy interaction with others, but also a healthy understanding of yourself and forgiveness.  Now, if you are acting as a peacemaker or problem solver for others, having your own problems out of the way will enable you to have a greater impact.  In this scenario, your heart is huge, to want to care and help others.  However, a broken or wounded heart will not be able to pump as much life and healing towards supporting others.  (Philippians 4:4-9)You can't support another if you are bleeding out yourself.  I would suggest starting by grabbing a journal of some sort and writing out a list of what you see your problems to be.  Start just with a bullet point list, nothing in depth at this point, just so that you can see, not just think, what your personal issues are.  This will also be a great first step in your process.  Once you can visually see these issues written out, you may be surprised at how you will naturally begin to process and heal through them.  Some you may be able to address on your own, and others you will see that you need to the support of another.  I would encourage you in either case, to sit down with a pastor or counselor and allow them the chance to lay out the pieces of your puzzle and to help you put them together, to reveal the amazing picture of who you are!  Give yourself time...it won't all be resolved overnight!  We believe in you! You are valuable, and we love you!  You are in our prayers!