I don’t exactly know how were supposed to write this but all I have to say is there is so much pain from my mom’s divorces and the horrible things her last husband did. Her new boyfriend just can’t accept. I have trouble letting people in. I try to be happy but sometimes I feel so abandon by God. I don’t know how to even go on. What am I doing wrong? I’m so positive yet so lost.
Let me first say...you are not doing anything "wrong." That question alone makes me believe that you have taken on the pain and issues of your parents and are trying to be the solution. You in and of yourself will not be able to solve that pain and hurt. God may use you to be a part of that healing, however, that's His job and He's the only one that can do it. Your parents also need to be willing to allow Him to heal as well. As for you struggling to let people in, I have more questions than answers for this. Sometimes when people won't "let people in" it means that they will share their life and struggles and than push aside every encouragement and piece of advice they receive. This response I believe is mostly pride, the belief that someone can solve their own problems all on their own. The other side of not "letting people in" is completely shutting out the problem and people and putting on a face and pretending that nothing is wrong. This response seems to be based a lot on an idea that no one could possibly understand my problem or maybe even that we are ashamed of or feel guilty about the issue at hand. Either way...your first step is to find someone that you are willing to open yourself up to and trust them. This means sharing the deep truth and receiving the response. Often times a counselor is the best person for this first step, because they are truly objective and can speak honestly without an emotion that is connected to your hurt and pain. All that to say, you have to find at least one person to let in and...your next hurt being the feeling of abandonment by God...probably means you have to let Him in first. Take a look at Mark 4:35-41. Here is the story where Jesus and His disciples are headed across the sea and while Jesus is asleep in the back of the boat a huge storm comes up and threatens the boat. Look at verse 38 at the disciples accusation..."Teacher don't you care if we drown?" They at this point still don't fully understand that Christ is God Himself, but yet they still have some belief that He can save them. But they don't ask for help, they don't express their fear or pain, they don't ask what else they could do. They go right to, 'God, we are about to die and all you can do is sleep...seriously...don't you care?' We all ask that, especially at our deepest point of need. Jesus' next move was to stand up and say to the waves and wind "Quiet! Be Still." This statement is amazing! I have often wondered if He wasn't just talking to the waves, but to the disciples. So here is my encouragement and challenge for you..."Quiet! Be Still!" God is with you, He knows the storms, and He knows how to calm them. Stay positive and open yourself up to allow God to heal your hurt. Focus on yours first, than offer your parents up to Him and let Him do the rest. Don't do this alone. Once you have owned up to God, find another that you can be open with. Maybe that's a close friend, a pastor or a counselor. No matter who it is, make sure that it is someone who is objective, safe and will challenge you! I believe God is going to work this through with you as you allow Him. We believe in you! You are valuable and we love you! You are in our prayers!
Let me first say...you are not doing anything "wrong." That question alone makes me believe that you have taken on the pain and issues of your parents and are trying to be the solution. You in and of yourself will not be able to solve that pain and hurt. God may use you to be a part of that healing, however, that's His job and He's the only one that can do it. Your parents also need to be willing to allow Him to heal as well. As for you struggling to let people in, I have more questions than answers for this. Sometimes when people won't "let people in" it means that they will share their life and struggles and than push aside every encouragement and piece of advice they receive. This response I believe is mostly pride, the belief that someone can solve their own problems all on their own. The other side of not "letting people in" is completely shutting out the problem and people and putting on a face and pretending that nothing is wrong. This response seems to be based a lot on an idea that no one could possibly understand my problem or maybe even that we are ashamed of or feel guilty about the issue at hand. Either way...your first step is to find someone that you are willing to open yourself up to and trust them. This means sharing the deep truth and receiving the response. Often times a counselor is the best person for this first step, because they are truly objective and can speak honestly without an emotion that is connected to your hurt and pain. All that to say, you have to find at least one person to let in and...your next hurt being the feeling of abandonment by God...probably means you have to let Him in first. Take a look at Mark 4:35-41. Here is the story where Jesus and His disciples are headed across the sea and while Jesus is asleep in the back of the boat a huge storm comes up and threatens the boat. Look at verse 38 at the disciples accusation..."Teacher don't you care if we drown?" They at this point still don't fully understand that Christ is God Himself, but yet they still have some belief that He can save them. But they don't ask for help, they don't express their fear or pain, they don't ask what else they could do. They go right to, 'God, we are about to die and all you can do is sleep...seriously...don't you care?' We all ask that, especially at our deepest point of need. Jesus' next move was to stand up and say to the waves and wind "Quiet! Be Still." This statement is amazing! I have often wondered if He wasn't just talking to the waves, but to the disciples. So here is my encouragement and challenge for you..."Quiet! Be Still!" God is with you, He knows the storms, and He knows how to calm them. Stay positive and open yourself up to allow God to heal your hurt. Focus on yours first, than offer your parents up to Him and let Him do the rest. Don't do this alone. Once you have owned up to God, find another that you can be open with. Maybe that's a close friend, a pastor or a counselor. No matter who it is, make sure that it is someone who is objective, safe and will challenge you! I believe God is going to work this through with you as you allow Him. We believe in you! You are valuable and we love you! You are in our prayers!
